Originally published at Grey/Matter. Please leave any comments there.
Goddamn, I am terrible at updating this thing… I guess that’s what happens when you spend 12 hours a day working on website projects (or dicking about on SA-MP, which I’ve been doing a lot too.)
Anyway, you may remember me mentioning being a bit of a hypochondriac a few entries back. Well, this time I’m being told – by someone else, shockingly – that I have Asperger syndrome. I can’t blame that on hypochondria, it’s someone else’s thinking!
While I am subject to some social awkwardness, I will admit that, however it’s only around strangers. I’m a confident as a… confident thing, when around people I know quite well. The reported analytical understanding of emotion is rather accurate; I can rarely sympathise with other people’s anger and sadness, regardless of how well I know the person.
A major symptom of Aspergers is an intense interest in particular topics. Whether I am subject to this is debatable. I do show a somewhat intense interest in such subjects as web development, graphic design and the furry fandom; however I am actively involved in all of these, unlike AS wherein people tend to take interest in specific things without an interest in the topic as a whole.
In a similar vein, there is also repetative behaviour and routines. This, I do have some basis in, a previous stretch with a child psychologist some years ago did note that I live by an abnormally strict personal routine – not the kind where I live every day the exact same as the last down to 15 minute intervals – but in the sense that I don’t take kindly to what I’m doing being disrupted.
Speech abnormalities may be the most significant symptom I show in daily life. I quote: “verbosity [...] pedantic, formal or idiosyncratic speech, and oddities in loudness, pitch, intonation, prosody, and rhythm”.
YES, DEAR GOD YES!
That phrase above describes my speaking patterns to a tee. I constantly shift accents, dialects, languages and use horrendously complex and formal speech when I’m not. I also have an occasional stutter, although how related to AS I do not know.
Asperger syndrome may also produce cases of bad memory (which has plagued me for years, if not my whole life); degraded motor capabilities (I never managed to ride a bike, have terrible handwriting, and bad hand-eye coordination);
A curious thing that AS can product is hypersensitivity to sound, light, temperature, smell, pain, taste and various sensory stimuli. This I can sympathise with hugely. Highly pitched or loud noises, heat just a few degrees above body temperature, even the slightest touch against my body – all of these I can detect and often feel repulsed by, and I often try to avoid any of these things happening. And that, people, is why I refuse to get a job in a kitchen… it’s far too hot in there.
So, do I have Asperger syndrome? I dunno. By the reading of the symptoms and comparing them to my everyday life I could find it quite plausible, however this method of diagnosis could confirm dozens of similar ailments that I have previously considered. We’ll just have to see, won’t we?